The Crossing

Part 6: Bubhosh Uzg

Written by Gor'bladz
Illustrated by Kr'Pog

The nobs of the Shadowclan were once again in conference. The loss of all the supplies and equipment was a considerable setback. The mission to colonize the new land was now in jeopardy.

“Dere iz nub way we can gu now! Wut we sposed to use to take ober da nu uzg? We neeb supplies!” The Drae’hai nob stalked back and forth. “We neeb fuud to eet! We neeb fuud fur our howlers! We neeb metul for making wepunz and bottul for making poshunz. If we guin tu nu uzg tu make it all ours, den nub ash just guin to sell us tings.”

“Bah! Orc life hard.” The Buurz’traga nob spat into the fire. “Tingees is fur da week. Shadowclan is strong. We can live off da tingees we get frum dose we clomp. We will eet dere fuud, melt dere armur tu get our metul. We will build our fortz from out ob dem bones. Agh if we nub strong enuff? Den me guess we will all get clomped.” The nob shrugged as if the idea wasn’t all that disagreeable to him.

The Drae’hai nob started to shout a reply but he was interrupted by a nob of the Ghaashblud. “Gah, us been blahin bout dis ober agh ober agh ober, agh us still nub gettin any where. Da Shadowclan can nub all gu tu da nu uzg wit nub supplies. Dat just nub guin tu wurk.” Once again the Buurz’traga nob just shrugged. “But us alreddy kum dis far. Us nub can pass up dis chance. Agh wit neerly all our supplies gone, if us nub gu us iz guing to find it purty hard heer in Outland. Lat feel like chewin on lat armur for da next cuppul of cycles for dinnur?” The Drae’hai nob’s belly suggested that he was in fact quite fond of dinner. He scowled darkly, but sat down without a word.

One of the other Drae’hai nobs leaned forward and asked “So wut is lat’s big ideer, Slabtoof? If we can nub gu tu nu uzg, agh if we guin tu starv if we stay heer, wut else iz dere?”

The Ghaashblud nob scratched his chin and looked around at all the nobs. After a moment, he laid out his plan. “Da supplies hav all been eetin by da ghaash. Slab tink da ghaash wuz nub happy wit our old plan. Su Slab tink ob nu plan. Us gu tu nu uzg, but nub all ob us. We split up. Haff ob us stay heer and start rebuildin. If dere only haff ob us, den clan can get by on da supplies dats left. Yub?” A couple of the nobs nodded.

“Da udder haff gu tu nu uzg. But it guin hab nu mishun. Insted ob taken obur da whole uzg, dem guin tu just prepare da way fur da rest ob us. We nub start off clompin eberee ting in site. Us nub clomp da orcs dat alreddy dere. Us explore da uzg, scout out place for fort, lurn whu us neeb tu clomp, and get tings reddy fur da muun when da whole Shadowclan can show up.”

The nobs began discussing this new plan. Some were obviously not convinced. “How we guin decide whu goes tu nu uzg, agh whu stays? Which orcs we guin send ober?”

The Ghaashblud nob smiled and said “Ah, dat da bestust part ob Slab’s plan! Whu eetz da most ob anee orcs? Which orcs are just about wurfless? Which orcs can us afford tu be without heer in Outland during da tuff muuns kummin up?”

For a moment no answer was forthcoming. Then a Drae’hai nob sat up straight agh slapped his forehead. “Peons! Dem eet eberee ting in site! Agh dem always screwin tings up.”

“Rite! Heer da plan. We send almost all da peons tu da nu uzg. We send H nobs ober tu so dey nub screw up tu bad. Dey prepare da way fur da rest ob us. How dat sound?” From that point, it was not long before the rest of the nobs warmed up to the idea. A few details were hammered out and the new plan was put into action.


Two days later a much smaller group of orcs stood bunched into the cave of the glowing gate. Peons were shoulder to shoulder except for a small space directly in front of the gate. The swirling gate glowed brightly. On the other side of the portal, strangely dressed orcs and trolls could be seen walking past. A group of seven nobs stood on the steps leading up to the portal. One of the Ghaashblud nobs addressed the crowd.

“Dis muun, all lat wurfless peons iz guin tu hab lat chance fur glory! Lat am guin tu be da forward skouts for da Shadowclan! Dis muun lat am guin tu gu thru dis Dushgund agh travel tu du nu uzg on da udder side. When lat get dere, da future of da clan will be in lat grubbers. Lat am guin tu prepare da way for da rest of lat Clan. Dese nobs am guin wit lat. Bluk, Guthak, Hugzug agh Metug ob da Drae’hai. Dugglob, Slab, agh Zugyuk ob da Ghaashblud. Agh Kdah agh Vrax ob da Buurz’traga will be in charge ob all of lat.” The nob crossed his arms and smiled at the listening peons. None of them were about to dispute his assessment of his own abilities.

“When lat get on da udder side, lat am guin to be in ash place where lat hab nub fwends. Lat all guin tu haff to depend on eech udder. Lat all guin haff to lissen tu da nobs and follow dere orders. It lat screw up obber dere, lat got nub ash tu kum sabe lat but eech udder. Su stik tuggedder! Agh remember, if lat du guud, dem nobs is guin to promote lat to gruntees, agh den maybe latz join tribes agh be grunts.”

Many of the peons began to mutter. It did not look like any of them were all that happy about going through the gate. The Ghaashblud nob scowled darkly and growled. “Grrrrrr. Wut all lat belly aching about? Iz lat afrayd or sumtin?”

“How we gruk dat dis Dushgund goin to ebeen wurk? Maybe it guin tu just clomp eberee ash dat gu thru!” This was shouted by some peon way in the back. Immediately the muttering in the crowd got louder, and many of the peons began nodding their heads.

“Shuddup! Iz dat wut lat afrayd ob? Skah! Wut ash bunch ob cubbies. Alrite. Slab gonna test dis ting agh see if dis wurks. Slab neeb ash volunteer!” None of the peons seemed particularly eager. The nob squinted and looked through the crowd until he found what he was looking for. “Ah! Dere is volunteer fur Slab!”

The nob marched off the steps and into the crowd of peons. They melted away in front of him. In the middle of the crowd, the nob stopped and pounced on a peon. He grabbed the peon by the scruff of his neck and hauled him back up to the gate. The peon’s cloths were tattered and nearly black with soot and ash. He howled in pain yelling “Me bak, Me bak! Owee owee owee!”

The nob marched to the top of the steps and held the struggling peon up to the crowd. “Lat want to see if dis wurks? Alrite. Watch dis.” And with that the nob turned and tossed the hapless peon into the glowing gate. The peon screamed until he reached the gate, and then there was silence as he plunged into the swirling light. He seemed to hang for a moment in mid air, slowing turning and tumbling as if he had been tossed into a thick pool of clear honey. The peons all pressed forward and craned their necks to try to see what would happen. After of few seconds, the peon’s flight once more reached normal speed and he could be seen first dropping down a short distance, and then landing flat on his face on the other side.


In Azeroth, the day in the Valley of Trials began like any other. The sun rose over the cliffs of the valley bathing it in light. Young trolls and orcs went about their tasks learning the skills they would need to help serve in the armies of the Horde. Trainers gave tasks to the young members of the Horde, vendors bought and sold their goods, and the more experienced orcs and trolls began their journeys to nearby Sin’jin Village and Razor hill.

Without warning, a loud pop was heard right in front of the cave of The Den. When nearby orcs and trolls turned to look, they saw small orc laying face down in the dirt. The orc moaned and slowly got to his knees. He spit dust and dirt out of his mouth. He crossed his eyes and stuck one long filthy finger up his nose. He rooted around for a moment and eventually popped a sizable pebble out of one nostril. He then took a deep breath, and slowly let it out with a satisfied “Aaaaahhhhhhhh.” At that point, he looked up and noticed that a small crowd had gathered around him.

He slowly looked around at the circle of orcs and trolls. The crowd stared at him as if he was some sort of three clawed scorpid. He was skinny, bruised, filthy, and covered in burns. A lanky troll leaned forward and poked him with a stick.

“Ack!” The peon leaped to his feet. The crowed stepped back a step. The peon took a couple of deep breaths, and then stuck out his chest in what he hoped was a impressive looking pose. “Ug, orcs ob da nu uzg! Me iz heer tu announce da kumming ob da Shadowclan!”

One of the orcs in the crowd said “What? The coming of the what?” The peon opened his mouth to answer, but before he could speak again there was a loud popping noise right above him. From out of nowhere large imposing orc dropped down and shoved the tattered peon roughly to one side.

“Out ob da way, Buttergrubberz” the new orc barked. The orc glared to his left and right, and then he turned around and put his hands on his hips. He stared at the spot he appeared from and nodded his head once. After a moment, the popping sound was repeated again. And again. And again. The Valley of Trial echoed to the sound of popping, and the area in front of the den quickly filled up with a crowd of strange orcs.

The large orc stood there watching, hands on his hips, ignoring all the orcs and trolls that kept asking him questions. After a time, a smile slowly spread across his face. He turned around and looked at the curious crowd that had gathered behind him.

“Ug. Take ash guud luuk. Aftur dis muun, nuttin guin be da same.” And with that, he turned back towards the new strange orcs and started bellowing orders.

“Shadowclan line up!”


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